Plannerology: Religion or Cult?

You know what's great? My PLANNER! That's what! Because it's not a planner, it's a WAY OF LIFE. I was at OfficeMax the other day, and I was looking at the planners there (of which there are about 500,000,000) and I noticed the FranklinCovey planners there. I remembered the name of course, from the stores that are peppering malls across the nation now. They are, as I have come to know, named for famous Founding Father Benjamin Franklin, and Stephen Covey, author of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, who is easily just as important, perhaps more so, then Benjamin what's-his-name will ever be.
What drew me to the FranklinCovey system was the presence of an introduction page.
"Have you ever felt like you just couldn't get it all together?" the planner asked.
"YES!" I replied enthusiastically.
The next paragraph continues "We at FranklinCovey Co. have created the perfect solution for helping you pull it all together so you can make the most of your life."
"PERFECT?" I was astounded. "What kind of magical elixer, or perhaps brain ray, could be the PERFECT SOLUTION for helping ME pull it all together?" I inquired vehemently.
"It's the Franklin Planner®, and it contains all the instructions and tools to help you organize your life and live it how you've always wanted to." The introduction page explained to me calmly.
"MERCIFUL ODIN'S BEARD! Could it be that I've finally found the one tool that will solve ALL my problems with organization?" I exclaimed. "But where does this system come from?"
"Years ago, " the planner begins it's tale. "Benjamin Franklin set out to discover and prioritize his values. He wanted to make the most of his time so that he could accomplish his goals and lift himself to amazing heights."
"Amazing heights? AMAZING HEIGHTS? But I would need help, and I don't know if anyone would want to help me do that." I replied sullenly. As I moved to put down the planner, it continued to relate its message.
"FranklinCovey wants to do that for you through the use of a model we call the Productivity Pyramid, along with your Franklin Planner."
"WHAT? You want to do this for ME? You must tell me more about this Productivity Pyramid!"
"The Pyramid is a model which helps you identify values, set goals, and plan your highest priorities." the planner described without a trace of the irony I'm used to with these sorts of things.
Of course, there was only one way to be sure, I had to dive head first into the FranklinCovey system. Their, lifestyle, if you will. I dropped the $42.79 ($39.99 without tax) at the counter and drove home, cuddling my new life in my arms. Did I say life? I MEANT it!
This thing isn't just a planner my friends. As I unwrapped each section of planner paper, I found numerous individual pages specifially designed for the planning and management of various areas of my life. First are the Planning Pages, which are two page spreads for each day. EACH DAY people! That's unheard of in the world of planning! I think the point is that if you can fill up both pages, you're too busy.
Of course there are the obligatory financial tracking pages, the address book, and of course the information pages. Blah blah blah, right? Wrong. This thing comes with instructions. There is a three tier philosophy behind the FranklinCovey Planning System. First you're supposed to keep all your information in one, easy to steal place. Next you keep it with you AT ALL TIMES ("This planner is your life, Anakin"). Finally you have to combine the planner with TRAINING. Holy CRAP! There's training?
Not only that, the starter set of pages (there are many others available, including dated refill pages, financial pages, pages made for Realtors, Freelance Business-people, even a planning pack to help bridezilla plan her wedding) comes with these self analysis pages in order to define and clarify your values, goal, and even write a "Personal Mission Statement."
This turned out to be a far more interesting uninformed impulse buy then most of my others. Like I said, the Covey in FranklinCovey comes from the author of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which is already sparking a revolution like the Common Sense of business in America. As much as my cynical mind really wants this to be crap, I'm beginning to think this might be the real deal. I'm already up to the Personal Mission Statement, and I've already felt like several things about myself have become clearer. Nothing I didn't already know, but many things which I may have taken for granted.
How annoying to have my own cynicism blown up in front of my very eyes. Also annoying is that it may be giving way to a very real sense of authentic optimism, which is weird. It seems though that I may very well be becoming a card (or planner) carrying member of the Church of Plannerology, a real True Believer.
Excelsior!